I have been thinking further about last week’s question.

I think I have to do more, get more. Thinking back I realized that when I was
best I was busy, doing. I was taking classes full time, working several part
time jobs, involved in extracurriculars, doing yoga, dancing, dating, reading
12 books a week or a day, going out with friends, talking walks in the park
during spring and fall. I used to do.

Not all my lows have been during times I wasn’t doing a lot, but most have.
And the ones that have not been related, were due to life changes.

I have put in to adopt a dog. Some may think that it may be too much for me
right now, but I do need the company and I miss Lena and Trixie – neither one
of which could come to live with me.

I have also been thinking of taking violin lessons; may seem weird at my age,
but I have always wanted to play an instrument and that one just feels right.
Plus I remember now how much I enjoy light Classical music, and how my
favorite part is the violins. Though some piano concertos are very uplifting;
but I don’t particularly like to play the piano.

Today I found out I can focus better on my studies when I listen to classical
music. I knew that, because I did it all through college. People used to think
it strange that the closer a deadline came the more relax I was, even though I
hadn’t even started to work on what was due. I knew that once the time was
just right I could just put my head phones on and type away the perfect paper.
They were all perfect, even if I didn’t get an A. After all, grades are a
matter of perception when it comes to written works; and we don’t all have to
agree on what we view as the truth. Indeed, what has been said for centuries
may in fact be wrong. The world is round after all.

I wasn’t feeling better until 30 minutes ago. I haven’t done anything all
week, until 30 minutes ago. I am going to figure out how to beat this, and
then I am going to figure out how to keep it at bay forever.