Some times I can’t help but wonder… .

I guess I am as much of an idealist as any other person. I don’t think that I expect the impossible, but I don’t want to settle for less that I have worked for either. I would like to have a good career, be happy, have extremly intelligent children; nothing more than the slightly-above-average, highly educated person, right? I mean, I would like all this in a few years, once I have attained my next 3 degrees. I am not asking for fame and fortune, just comfortability.

Now, I have to make some important decisions. Everyone I talk to has too much input and not enough opinion, or vice versa. What I mean by input is unjustified babble they think you should hear. Opinions are educated, or at least logical, thoughts on a given issue; hopefully, helpful.

Things to sort out:
* when and where I want to go to law school
* where I want to spend the time in between
* whether I want to pursue a relationship with someone I have known for a while now, and who I wish would read this
* when and where I want to go for grad school, and whether I want to do that while I’m in Law School
* do I want to work in DC? right now? later?
* what kind of law am I most interested in? does it matter? do I want to practice?
* and knowing me, a whole bunch of other question that plague me all day and night long. :::sigh:::

However, it seems that the person I think should be the most supportive is only interested in keeping me down. And I thought that was someone else, but somehow I guess I was wrong.
What a surprise! It was not. After 4 years of telling me that she hates this place, it’s no wonder that she doesn’t want me to go to Law School. Too bad for her, because I am going.

My uncle was telling about his uncle (my grandfather’s brother, who was married to my grandmother’s aunt). He told me that once he told his uncle that he wanted to go to school to study something, he couldn’t remember what, but something white collarish. His uncle said that he couldn’t study that because my grandfather was an automechanic. Mind you, he was a professor of automechanics, and a damn good mechanic and father, and all around great guy. Of course, I am biased since my grandfather was more of a father to me than my own. Thankfully, I still have two great uncles left.

Anyway, I blame her attitude on prehistoric ideals. Anyone would think she lived through the Depression. Furthermore, this is also all my father’s fault. After 14 years of being dead, he is still disappointing me. But that’s okay, because I can yell at him; I can’t even talk to her. He is great part of the reason she and I have never had a relationship, and I have been trying for a long time. But now I realize that I have been wasting my time. If she doesn’t want to be a part of my life, she doesn’t have to be, and that’s it. Plus, I am the daughter of a lawyer; I can certainly be anything I damn well please (regardless of what anyone says).

I haven’t spent my whole life working to be better than the two of them put together, to let anyone get in my way. (Not that that really matters to me; in any case, I already am.) And when I say that, that’s what I mean. I have stepped over people before, but if you are not up to play the game, then cheer from the sidelines if you must. I have always said: it’s a man’s world, and if I have to play just as hard or harder than the guys, I will; and I’ll win too. I have nothing against men, but not a single one of them will come between me and what I want.

As you can probably tell, I am still really mad, even though it’s been 2 days. So I may be writing more about this. Plus I’ll be picking a log of the whole Law School application process, etc. So, leave comments if you stop by. And until later.