So, I went to work today – I was kinda late. I survived, sort of. I was really tired towards the late afternoon. Probably because of all the crappy sleep and no food I’ve been having.

Anyway, I came home; talk to a friend online; and went to DOC to see X2. That was good. I was definitely funny. Well, then I came home (originally intended to go to Jimmy’s, but it started raining). Then my roommate said he wanted some wine, and I remember the bottle that I’ve had in the fridge for decades (okay, months), so I drank over half of that (about 15 oz.); well, now I am not as drunk as I have been before (I can tell, because I can still type), but I am drunk indeed. Not proud of it, but I accept the facts.

So, “The Issue” is still waging on my mind, and I know what I have to do. Honestly speaking I haven’t done it because I am chicken. One, I don’t want to be wrong (no one thinks that I am); two, I am super scared (that happens to everyone); and three, I am just a dweeb (I’m sure I won’t find any argument on that one).

So, what do I do instead of what’s got to be done? What most cowards do! I go drink, and try to see it all in a condescending light, so that I can feel better about it… right now. Because it is a fact that tomorrow I am going to feel just as shitty about it as today – and yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, and so on.

Peter asked me today if I was depressed, so I have to say: I am not depressed, y’all. I am not depressed at all. I am just frustrated and stressed out. I really want to do this; I need to. I know it’s the right thing. I have to follow my heart on this one, even if my mind screams at me constantly. I know, and I have known for several years now, that this is what’s right. I just know. So I have to do it. But first I have to find the guts to do so.

Good luck to me!