Truth is, I do have much more to do, which is actually important. I just can’t do it because I have been far too distracted for the past few days. I haven’t been able to eat (unless I force myself), and I’ve been having horribly bad sleep; to top that off, I keep finding bugs seeking refuge in my apartment.
I’ve just been thinking about something, someone, that has become important to me. And what can I do? I have to think about it, because Lord forgive if Christina were to do something reckless or unthought-through! Anyway, so I have as many answers as I can find by myself, and I think that I am ready to take over the world (well, at least this situation). However, it is very hard to decided, and it’s really draining me. That’s a bad thing.
So, being as drained as I feel and suffering from constant nausea, I have to endeavour to finish all the things that I do have to do. Because this is really not one of them. I have to write papers, and read books, and fill out applications, and prepare for tests; and live my life! But instead, I am killing my brain thinking about how stupid I have been for the past years, or at least months; and how could this have ever escaped me; and why did I now realize what I knew myself to be true before. Because I am a chicken! That’s right. Every time that something like this happens (mind you, this hasn’t happened before) I just turn into my self and figure out cons and pros and then go nuts when i can’t live with just one little detail. Except that this time, I just want the whole package; and let me tell you that is the scariest thing I have ever considered in my life.
So, before I really do go nuts while typing, I’ll stop right here.