What a way to start the day! One hour into the 7th, and I’m already down in the dumps….

Well, a few hours ago, I was content to realize that for the first time in I don’t know how long I could remember certain things without feeling pain so deep that I thought I could just die. I was glad to know that I could look back, and yet still look forward. It gave me hope.

What is it with human beings? Our mind is one of the most powerful things in the world, and yet we are so fragile. The strongest person can die from the least dangerous ailment, and the frailest survive the most trying times. Ironic.

I always thought I was tough. I have made it through a lot. I have made it farther than some thought. And I tend to amaze myself about once a week. But though much fails to amaze me, humanity is what really gets me. I look around me, and I am in awe everyday. So much that get accomplished and so much that wastes away. It is just amazing.

Once a friend told me that she couldn’t think of me being weak, because it made her lose hope that one day she would too be strong. And I said: “I may seem strong, but I am weak. And I am tired of acting like I am not.” There is nothing more debilitating, in my opinion, that trying harder than you can. Oh, try hard, try ’til you can no more; but know when you have tried hard enough. I am not a quitter, and I am not giving up or giving in; but I am human, and I going to be a strong and fragile as humans are.

So, I’m kinda down now because I don’t know how to move on from where I’m at; but I’ll figure it out, and the sun will shine. Nothing is impossible, unless you don’t try. But sometimes you need to know when trying makes no difference, because some things are just not meant to be.