I wrote this post back in 2005. I truly believe it.
I learned this when I was a child. It is part of what brought me to the place where I was when I wrote it. It was a place where I should have never arrived knowing this.
But, here is the important part: soon after, not 18 months later, I forgot. It was not until yesterday, literally, that I remember who I am, what I believe, what I can accomplish.
This one little belief I was thought very early on guided me from childhood to adulthood, on a path that was taking me exactly where I wanted to go. Except, at some point, I walked off the path – and have been struggling ever since.
As a child I learned a lot of things that I now know most people don’t. Some of my childhood friends, who were taught like me, didn’t. I have had this advantage for a very long time, and I certainly remember using it.
Unfortunately, one day, I hesitated. I hesitated to have everything, to want it all. I embraced the idea that to have what you want most you have to give up something that is equally important to you. Never once had I believed that before, because I know it’s not true. I wasn’t not thought this idea by people who preached it; I saw them live it, and learned that I could too. That was my childhood dream: to have everything and be happy.
Now I know that’s when everything changed, when I hesitated, when I changed. It was a slow process, and just when I was settling into this changed perception, life kicked me down. Maybe it was supposed to be a wake up call and I was supposed to fight back, but I didn’t. The result: my life spiraled down into a dark pit I couldn’t escape. That is, until I started to believe again.
I didn’t realize it until today. My way to recovery has been paved by this same belief. The belief that I can accomplish anything, that I deserve to have what I want, that I am entitled to happiness. It has brought me back to here.
The significant part: Now that I have re-embraced my guiding force, I can begin again – and have everything.