“Out with the old, in with the new.”
It’s a pertinent saying this time of year. The beginning of the year, of the season, when we make plans for changes that for most will never come. It’s the end of the cycle, when everything dies, just to be renewed in the spring. There’s a lot of old and new this time of year.
Back in October, I had my weekend of personal purge. I had several new things in my life come in 2015, and a not-insignificant few that had to go. It was indeed the biggest adventure of the last several years. It may not sound like it, but – in my life, getting out of bed in the morning can turn into an adventure. I don’t take much for granted.
The journey that began that October day is far from over. In fact, the purge served an unexpected purpose.
“Unexpected”. It keeps creeping up onto my life often, nowadays. I like it. I used to live in a very controlled environment. I controlled it, until it started controlling me. “Unexpected” is liberating, because I can just be me, not control required.
I gained a depth of strength I did not know possible just from that one day. I also learned that some things are worth saving. A lot of stuff was thrown out, some was donated and a few found. But most importantly, a lot of thoughts and feelings and emotions were sorted and examined; some were discarded, some were reacquainted and yet others were embraced.
The best part of my journey is not the journey, or the fact that I get to find exactly who I am without the baggage burdening most. The best part of my journey is the moments when I see myself clearly, the moments when I find the real me out of all the other “me”s that preceded it.
Losing myself was awful, dark, terrifying and a blessing. I used to think of it as the hardest thing I’ve survived. I’ve survived a few, and that may just be the winner.
But I have a feeling I’m about to go on a journey unlike any before. I’m not unprepared, but you can’t prepare for life to happen, either. This might be my toughest sojourn. Not because of what I may face, but because it’ll require that I reacquaint myself with parts of me I’m not completely comfortable with, with parts I long-ago hid away. Thankfully I had a little assistance getting some of those back.
So, make room for new things in your life by getting rid of those that no longer serve you. Let go of the negative thoughts, the grudges, the heartbreak, the old shoes you have not worn in 5 years. Let go of the anchor holding you back, the fear, and embrace the unknown, the unexpected, the unconventional, the possibilities.
Just let go. Most things are not very important.