I have been doing some introspection (nothing new),  and doing some not-so-light reading. I have come to this conclusion: If you do not love yourself despite all your imperfections, setting aside all your accomplishments, then you will never be happy. (Note: No one and nothing can make you happy, if you are not happy with yourself.)

I remember my therapist telling me that I should be happy because of a long list of accomplishments, significant and trivial, alike. I remember telling him they did not matter; it was the past. They were, and they are. I wasn’t unhappy with what I have accomplished; I was unhappy with my life, with myself. 

Life doesn’t happen on yesterday; it’s happening right now. Right then, I was unhappy – even though the world thought I shouldn’t be because I have so much. Right then, I was unhappy and depressed and hopeless, because I couldn’t get pass what I don’t like about myself and my life – and I didn’t know how to change any of it.

There are things one can do in life to remove a lot of the things and people that bring us down. The people who see our imperfections as something to be remedied, they have to go. The things that make us feel like we are unworthy, they must go too. No one is unworthy. Certainly, no one is unworthy of loving themselves. Isn’t that really all we need?

I am happy now. I have my accomplishments and my flaws, and everything else, that makes me, me. I am happy because I love who I am despite all the things I know others see as less than optimal, faults/flaws/imperfections. Those things are what make me who I am, in spite of every triumph and failure. Those things are the ones that push me to be more, do better, reach farther, go longer, and not give up. Those “flaws” are kind-of super powers. Awesome!

Unfortunately, not everyone has lived through what I have; not everyone has been given this great opportunity to start practically from scratch; not everyone has decided to look “in” instead of “out” for the answers to those questions no one else can answer for you. That’s good in a way, because I wouldn’t wish this journey on anyone, especially someone who wouldn’t be able to never quit. It is not an easy undertaking, self-awareness. If it were, it would probably not be worth the effort, time, pain and suffering. It is hard to look at yourself, at your past, at your deepest, darkest moments and feelings. It is worth it, though, if you gain just one moment of light to push you forward unto a better path, a better you.

So, here is to the moments in the journey, because – in the end – the journey and the destination are not that important. I hope that you love yourself at every moment, even when you don’t like your thighs, ate crap for lunch, haven’t lost a pound in 3 months, thought you would be at a different place in life by now, or simply feel like this path, whatever it may be, is not worth it. 

It is worth it, because you are. I hope you find enough love for yourself that you realize that as the truth.

Good luck!