In the past few weeks, I have once and again heard about how boring my life must be; about how alone I currently am in my life; about how old I am, for living life in such a way.

The truth is that I have the life I have chosen to live. Maybe it’s not perfect, but it’s mine. I am alone because I chose to be; but I am not lonely, and have never been. I don’t have a lot of friends; because I believe friends are precious persons, and to have too many is to undervalue the really great persons in one’s life. And I am 26: old enough to know what don’t want, and young enough to get what I do want.

I am not going to lie; not to you and not to myself. That’s the point of this post. There are things that I want that I can’t have because of how I have chosen to live my life; well, maybe I have chosen to take the hard path. But fret not, I will have it all!

I have no problem with waiting for what I want; it’s worth it. Though some say, that if it’s worth doing, it worth doing it now. I say the longer you don’t have it, the more you will appreciate once you do. I may be wrong. But sometimes you shouldn’t have what you want until you are ready to appreciate it; I am not there yet.

On a similar note, I am not bored with my life. It may seem unorthodox to want to spend time with myself; almost all of my time. But it is not so strange. The fact of the matter is that I have spent a long time off track, and I am getting back on my path. There are things that I want, and I am going to get them. I have finally recovered my passion, and it’s not like it once was, but it’s back. And now I’ll persevere in getting back my determination. Slowly, I will be who I once was; but better, because I will know what I didn’t know then.

And I won’t lie. Sometimes I think I would give anything to have back one of the lives I have left behind. And on some days I would; some days I would give everything. But the reality is that I wouldn’t want to have any of those lives, and that’s why I have this other life. This is not the life that happened to me; this is the life I have chosen for myself. I have had things happen to me: illness, the loss of my father, having a brother, etc. They are not all bad, and they are all part of who I am; but they don’t define me. My choices do: going to Chicago, reading French novels, learning German (though badly), packing up and moving to Texas, being alone, etc. I am who I chose to be. And not many people can say that.