I often avoid this day. If today were Sunday, I would have pretended it doesn’t even exist on the calendar. But, it’s not.

Almost my whole life ago, it was hard. Now, it is just sad to remember. 

Mostly, I just remember all the things you’ve missed. All the things we will never share. It is everything

There is a little part of me that will be forever missing because you are not here. Don’t fret! I am happy. I haven’t always been, and it’s been hard. But, I’m okay. I’m a fighter. 

I miss you. I get angry at you sometimes, but mostly I miss you. I get angry because I miss you, so don’t take offense.

You have missed all the big events. You will miss many more, I am sure. It’s hard to be lighthearted when a part of you is missing, when you want to share something with those who mean the most to you and they are not there. 

I am starting a new chapter in my life. It started months ago, or maybe years ago and I didn’t notice. You will miss that too. You’ve missed so much of our lives, and I don’t feel sorry for you. You made your choices. Your choices forever changed our lives, and that breaks my heart year after year you are not here. The happiest moments are a little dimmer because you are not, and will not, be there. 

We go on. It’s not perfect; it never was. It just is. It is what we make it, and I have worked hard to make it good. You missed it. I don’t know if you would have survived it anyway. I am stronger than you; and, for that, I thank you.

I will always miss you.

I love you.