I can’t believe it’s been a week since my last post. Incredible! I have gone from several posts in a day to none in a week. Amazing! Things are changing fast. Know I understand why T only post once in a long while.

I have been reading, studying for the LSAT (registered last night), working on my translation (which is denser than a prefabricated concrete wall), and feeling very unproductive while also searching for a job. It’s a very strange feeling, not having something that drives you. I mean, I am studying for the LSAT, because I ahve to if I want to do well, but it feels like it’s still so far away – definitely not a driving force. And I am working on this translation, but it’s so dense it takes forever, and once I am done, what then? Reading will always be there, no driving force other than the desire to read and expand knowledge – in my very selfish sort of way. And the job search requires a lot of patience and waiting that I can’t stand. I hope I find something soon.

Other than that, I have been thinking a lot about other things, mainly life. What do I want to do for this next 20 months. And what do I want to do once the 20 months have passed. The idea is that I’ll be in a law program by the fall of 2005; but do I want to go for a master’s next fall? And is it time I take on a relationship, instead of finding something wrong with every male who interests me solely on the basis of my “career” and the “I don’t have time” I so claim? I have been thinking about marriage and children, and it’s a strange feeling to have such thoughts; because cognitively it doesn’t seem like the right thing to do right now, but – hell – if not now when? Life is not going to sit and wait for me to make up my mind. As a matter of fact my eggs are dying as I type, and my chances of conceiving are winding down as I think about what I type. There is no stopping it. Life will not wait, so I have to do something – not just think about it.

In the meantime (knowing me the thinking will continue for a while before the acting begins), I have to decide on other things like grad school, a job, a career, etc, etc. My brain is about to get fried… again.